March on...

{I’ve been suffering from a mental block all weekend. This is an attempt to break out of it. I probably won’t succeed. You’ve been warned…}

I’ve been feeling ‘distant’ the last few days, as if part of me is not all the way here. I’m not daydreaming at work or walking into walls or anything like that…I’m just not feeling myself. I came down with something a couple of weeks ago that, while not overly dramatic as far as ‘bugs’ go, certainly did sap a ton of my energy, much of which I’ve been struggling to get back since. My work hours aren’t helping, but while I’ve had a couple of good night sleeps…it seems all it takes is one sleepless or semi-sleepless night for me to slide alllll the way down into walking zombie mode again…like a sleepy time version of snakes and ladders…


"The real game of life..."

That being said, in this altered state I find myself in, I seem to have rediscovered my photography hobby. I’ve been motivated to load up the old camera with some b&w film and take in all that fall has to offer next chance I get. I know…I know…fall is a season best captured in colour, but to be honest, the roll of colour pictures I just developed were absolute shit. My trip out west was relegated to a couple of shots of mountains, a Calgary Stampeders practice and a blurry photo taken from inside a bus of the cityscape. Nothing. Maybe 2 or 3 decent ones out of 24. Colour is for family pictures and vacations I say. I find that when using b&w, you just tune out the colour show, and focus on getting a good ‘picture’. That…and I just like it better. WAY more arty! =P Plus, I think it would be cool to try and capture fall and things like Halloween in b&w. A little experiment-slash-challenge if you will. I’ve already started to see more and more pumpkins and broomsticks about, and its actually putting a smile on my face. Maybe I’ll even find the time to pick out and carve my very own jack-o-lantern this year. I usually do something, as Halloween is one of my favourite holidays (its just so genuine and its for everyone...though I haven't dressed up in a while...), so hopefully I’ll become inspired and create a terrible masterpiece befitting this horrorshow of days.

This was also the first Sunday where I didn’t pay the NFL any mind. I set my fantasy league team last night, and even though my alarm gave me plenty of time to run to the corner store to place some Pro-Line bets this morning, I decided against it. Its actually quite amazing how my waning interest in sports can be traced back to the summer of the NHL lockout…and my vow to give up hockey for a year in silent protest. Ever since then, the energy I invested in all sports, not just hockey, has begun to shift towards other interests outside that world. I’m reading more. I’m writing a little more (though that’s hardly cause for celebration) and just not clogging up my head with statistics and player rosters. I’ve actually begun to explore other avenues on this road called life…and while the terrain often feels rocky and occasionally inspires fear and dread in me, the view of the horizon ahead is worth it. I just have to continue to ride the rough patches out, steer clear of the extreme terrain just off to the side…and hope its not all just a mirage…