silver and beige
When I'm on my game, I impress myself. I caught a glimpse of it today for the first time in a while. Leader of men and women.
I'm good at what I do. It just hurts me so much. Requires so much of me, only to have me living on the fringes. My tank is empty. Empty.
Am I a failure because I'm not reaching for the stars?
The world scares me right now. It's totally expected, but to be seeing it unfold right under my feet is a bit of a mind trip. Like a kind of dejavu, and a kind of premonition wrapped in a reality blanket. This is actually happening. People don't learn. The planet is struggling under our weight. Mother Nature is losing folks, and she's fighting back. And I'm supposed to be excited about the prospect of another 40-50 years of this? We are but tiny specks in the grand scheme that was set in motion eons ago and is the hands of a shrouded ultra-minority who own the world. TV. The Internet. Smartphones. Video Games. Landscaping. Professional Sports. Movies. The gym. Swiss Chalet. Downtown. The great outdoors. Money. Cooking. Gardening. Kids. Banks. Mortgages. Shoes. Vacations. The Cottage. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Sex. Newspapers. TMZ. Rock and Roll. Celebrities. The Baby. The break-up. The tragedy. The horror. Dancing. Flying first-class. Gambling. Running. Watching the seconds on the clock tick by.
All for those moments.
I'm good at what I do. It just hurts me so much. Requires so much of me, only to have me living on the fringes. My tank is empty. Empty.
Am I a failure because I'm not reaching for the stars?
The world scares me right now. It's totally expected, but to be seeing it unfold right under my feet is a bit of a mind trip. Like a kind of dejavu, and a kind of premonition wrapped in a reality blanket. This is actually happening. People don't learn. The planet is struggling under our weight. Mother Nature is losing folks, and she's fighting back. And I'm supposed to be excited about the prospect of another 40-50 years of this? We are but tiny specks in the grand scheme that was set in motion eons ago and is the hands of a shrouded ultra-minority who own the world. TV. The Internet. Smartphones. Video Games. Landscaping. Professional Sports. Movies. The gym. Swiss Chalet. Downtown. The great outdoors. Money. Cooking. Gardening. Kids. Banks. Mortgages. Shoes. Vacations. The Cottage. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Sex. Newspapers. TMZ. Rock and Roll. Celebrities. The Baby. The break-up. The tragedy. The horror. Dancing. Flying first-class. Gambling. Running. Watching the seconds on the clock tick by.
All for those moments.
posted by neil at 5:29 AM
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