wrecked vehicle

I am and feel so beyond tragic right now.  Embarrassed that it's come to this once again.  Every time I wonder if I have the energy to bounce back.  Every time I feel like I have less than the last.  Right now I feel like I have none.

Why did I do this to myself?  What was I trying to achieve?  Or avoid?

I don't deserve another shot.  I'm run through my fair share of chances.  I'm OK if this is it for me.  But I'll take another chance if it's given to me.  I will jump.