Quick Getaway...

It was nearly 11:00 pm last night when I started to get a little stir crazy. My stomach was rumbling and I was in that half asleep, half wide-awake headspace, lying on my bed in total silence, just staring at the ceiling. TV was offering more of the same…utter crap for the unenlightened…and I was sick of it. I was restless and I needed to get out! I let Roland the Stableman know that I’d be taking the old girl out for a spin and to have her ready (ok not really…). I grabbed my coat, my keys, my wallet and a few loose coins and locked the front door behind me.

And there she was…like she always is…waiting for me patiently like the loyal chariot she has become. I hopped in and turned over the engine. Her soft rumble enveloped me as I waited for her to ‘warm up’…(nice work Roland!)…and when the windshield had sufficiently cleared, we were off, just me and her…a cold night and the open road.

I love it at night when there are no cars on the road…when the sky covers the horizon in a soft black curtain, leaving you with an illuminated view of immediate surroundings and a faint hint at the rest. Sometimes I drive with the stereo turned up…lost in the music of my youth, or perhaps even new tunes to swim in. Other times I turn the stereo off completely, alone with my thoughts, the hypnotic pattern of the street lamps and the rumble of the engine. Weaving between the yellow lines, things are always clearer at night…alone on the road...a giant black canvas on which to paint your trail. You’re still very much in the here and now, because one wrong glance or one wandering eye at the wrong time…and crash…so you’re focused…but driving at night, with no real agenda or fixed destination allows me to escape, even if just for an hour…to hop into my own private (now warm) bubble and leave everything behind. To actually feel in complete control of something…anything…that despite all the tension and turmoil, I can still put my hands on the wheel and steer. Sometimes I think about just up and driving away and never looking back…but I know better than that…I know how quickly that feeling fades mid flight, just like I know I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, not as long as there are bills to pay, and bank accounts to fill…hours to work, friends to talk to and a warm bed waiting for me when I finally decide to turn around and come home.

There can be no real escape from this…such is my life…but as I sit here the next morning, I feel less and less like running away, and more and more like sticking around to see what lies beneath the next unturned stone. Life is as confusing as ever these days…but as my head spins, my soul does not…and I know its because I’m slowly starting to understand. But just in case, if I’ve got to make a run for it, its nice to know that I’ve got a getaway car…and she’s got a good motor and at least a half a tank of gas.

As for Roland...he's fired!



mine is blue...just like me...