Where's Neil?

I just wanted to make a ‘correction’ to my last post when talking about me having ‘nobody’. That isn’t true. Despite our sandpaper type relationship, I do still appreciate the fact that both my parents are still alive, and still together. I love both my mother and father, but our relationship is difficult. There is love, respect, caring…but also a lot of head scratching, head shaking, occasional frustration and borderline disgust. My parents are good people, but at this point in our lives, we have very little in common.

I also have a younger brother who, after years of looking up to me, has now surpassed me in almost every way. I was a very good soccer player…he is a great one. I was moderately popular back in the day…my brother still is, and to a greater degree. Etc. He’s even more artistic than I am in many ways…and while I know he did all this on his own, I like to think that the example I set (both positive and negative) helped him in some way…but like my parents, he and I are quite different and are motivated by totally different things. Having said that though, I think he’s the only person in the world that I’d take a bullet for without a second thought. He is, after all, my little brother…and despite outweighing me by a good 40 pounds, he always will be.

My family is a lot smaller than it has been in years past. In the last 5 years we’ve lost an Uncle, an Aunt and the family matriarch…my Gran…and the remaining members of our tiny extended family are separated by an Ocean…but while distance and time are tough obstacles to overcome when it comes to family, blood is blood…and there is an unspoken, undefined bond that binds us together…so even if I can’t see them, or talk to them, or give them a big hug, I still ‘feel’ them…and that is something.

So…while it may feel like I have nothing, I know deep down I am a lucky guy to have a family…and being the black sheep of the flock is alright, cause at least I’ve got a flock to call my own.