reach out and do what?

Why would I want to link my phone to my blog?  I suppose one might have their reasons, but not me. 

I'm in total shutdown deer-in-headlights mode right now...can't for the life of me figure out how to take that next step even though the path is right there in front of me.  I'm afraid I'm making a huge mistake on a big gamble.  At a time when I need to be sure, I'm not.  I want to fake it...to dig deep and find it in me to dive in...but something is holding me back.  I think most people think I'm a little crazy, and certainly a bit niave wanting to do what I want to do...and I understand them.  If this is 5 years ago, I'm not getting these looks.  Then again, its a different world 5 years ago.

I don't know what to do.  My life is truly at a crossroads.  The clock is striking midnight as I type this...

I come here to vent and hope that somehow I can read the tea leaves and maybe see something that's staring me right in the face.  I come here to see if I still have anything left inside that cares enough to ask.  I come here because I've got nowhere else to turn.

Do I really want to be carrying that around with me all day in my pocket?