'What's going on?'

What in the world could be so bad, so terrible that it requires one to go on a rampage through a School campus, killing 33 innocent people? What the fuck is wrong with people? How is this even an option in someone's head?

33 dead bodies (and just as many injured)...and none of them had any idea this was coming. Just another Monday morning class, right?

Having this sort of news pop up on the CNN page literally made my heart drop into my stomach. I still remember Columbine…the aftershocks in the days/weeks to follow…the fact that it was all I could think about for days…that after reading about today’s shooting at Virginia Tech I immediately started to recall all of those TV reports, video and photographs from that date in history…and the weeks and months of talking heads and bold headlines on TV dissecting said tragedy in 1,000,000 ways...and it makes me think about all that we have to look forward to on CNN for the next 6 months. I'm sure there are news producers all over the U.S. rubbing their hands together excitedly as I type this. Today makes me think about the town of Beslan in Russia and the hostage taking/massacre there that took the lives of over 300 people…including over 100 children. I remember being rendered frozen…numb…as the siege ended on live TV while I was living in England thinking to myself...how could someone do this? How could someone target little kids at school in such a way. Is there no honour anymore? Is nothing sacred?

There are some terrible people in this world. Anyone who watches the news knows this. There are also some people in this world who are so desperate, so helpless and so hopeless, that they feel as if the only way they will be heard is with a gun...as it rips other people from this world. Its enough to make you want to throw your hands up and give up on the whole lot of us. Yes, I realize terrible things happen every day all over the world. People starving to death in Africa…China…India…genocides…ethnic cleansing…religious persecution and conflict…wars...hatred…rape…abuse...murder…but all of these things, when I hear about them, trigger something inside me. They make me feel a little dead inside…like a tiny part of me just gave up…utterly disgusted that events like this can not only happen…but that they seem to be the norm.

Somewhere along the way, we, as human beings, fucked things up…God didn't do this to us...neither did Allah...and I think its safe to say Buddha didn't have a hand in this either...this is our bad. Yes, in the grand scheme of things events like this are still 'isolated'…and maybe, living in the moment, I am overreacting a bit...but when you see shit like this, its yet another ugly reminder of what horrors human beings are capable of. Everywhere you turn these days, it seems like this planet is slowly becoming a fucking nightmare...and we only have ourselves to blame.

This is humankind at our ugliest. Absolutely disgraceful.