The Third Act
Is this the beginning of the end…or something else?
A burst of good fortune has seen me join the ranks of the 9 to 5 army…and if you can imagine what it might feel like to be an hourglass that is turned over as soon as the final grain hits the pile…then you might understand how I feel these days. Or…if you’re a ‘Simpson’s’ fan, think about the episode where Lisa gets a pony and Homer has to work at the Kwik-E-Mart. I don’t have a moment to spare…and any spare moments that should be, aren’t because I’m stressing about not knowing what I’m doing at work. Meals missed. Body confused about when its time to sleep…and after not feeling the cold grip of the flu for quite a while, I’ve been struck down twice in the past 2+ months. This last bout I’m just now getting over lasted 4 days, with your friendly neighborhood loather fighting valiantly for the first 2 days before falling victim to a lethal combination of fatigue, malnutrition and cold fucking weather. Lucky for me, I just don’t have time to be sick, nor can I afford it with a shiny new job…so a dedicated regime of soup and bread eating, water drinking, and layer wearing has gotten me back to a functional level. Though I doubt that’s the case for my writing…
Hopefully this little intermission has done me some good. Like any vacation, I’ve come back feeling worse than when I left…things really are crazier than ever…and I haven’t felt this alone in a long time…but I’m so focused on not letting this job win, that everything else just seems like ghosts on my shoulder. Its like I’m on rails right now…there is no other course, at least nothing that I can see…so I’ve just got to keep throwing more coal into the engine, smooth out the sharp turns, and keep this thing moving.
It really is just me now…but I can do this.
A burst of good fortune has seen me join the ranks of the 9 to 5 army…and if you can imagine what it might feel like to be an hourglass that is turned over as soon as the final grain hits the pile…then you might understand how I feel these days. Or…if you’re a ‘Simpson’s’ fan, think about the episode where Lisa gets a pony and Homer has to work at the Kwik-E-Mart. I don’t have a moment to spare…and any spare moments that should be, aren’t because I’m stressing about not knowing what I’m doing at work. Meals missed. Body confused about when its time to sleep…and after not feeling the cold grip of the flu for quite a while, I’ve been struck down twice in the past 2+ months. This last bout I’m just now getting over lasted 4 days, with your friendly neighborhood loather fighting valiantly for the first 2 days before falling victim to a lethal combination of fatigue, malnutrition and cold fucking weather. Lucky for me, I just don’t have time to be sick, nor can I afford it with a shiny new job…so a dedicated regime of soup and bread eating, water drinking, and layer wearing has gotten me back to a functional level. Though I doubt that’s the case for my writing…
Hopefully this little intermission has done me some good. Like any vacation, I’ve come back feeling worse than when I left…things really are crazier than ever…and I haven’t felt this alone in a long time…but I’m so focused on not letting this job win, that everything else just seems like ghosts on my shoulder. Its like I’m on rails right now…there is no other course, at least nothing that I can see…so I’ve just got to keep throwing more coal into the engine, smooth out the sharp turns, and keep this thing moving.
It really is just me now…but I can do this.
posted by neil at 8:50 PM
2 Comments:
"I have learned through my mistakes and pursuits or false assumptions not by my exposure t fonts of wisdom and knowledge"
Igor Stravinsky
nice.
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