I'm 200 Years Old

At this stage, the temptation to disappear is enticing. Very. From the bottom of my soul...I’m embarrassed. At every turn, I come face to face with more impossibility it seems. But only I see it. More doubt. But only I feel it. I just don't believe anymore. In myself...or anyone else. I want to. I'm just not strong enough. Hollowed out with extreme prejudice…I am merely floating from this point to that one…trying to keep my head above the waves. But why? My dreams hurt. My memories bring me nothing but a sick feeling of loss. My future is a black page. No matter how hard I try to change the tune, I always end up sounding like a broken record. The echo of my own voice ringing in my ears as my life lay shattered on the ground. I know I can…I just don't feel it. Empty. I need a reason and nothing calls out...and it's all I can hear.