just because

Too much cough syrup and anti-drowzy sneezy pills isn’t really doing it for me. Its keeping me up…but this state of numb excitement has me looking at the fireplace in blanket confusion. I’m going to read over this shit tomorrow…should I really post this?
Big day tomorrow. Well…aren’t they all? But tomorrow has the potential to be the first in a chain reaction that will result in something different for yours truly. Lots of different. Possibly. Yes, I could be more cryptic…but so long as its just a big maybe I’m not even going to allow myself to fully imagine the repercussions of this different manifesting itself and dragging my life in a whole other direction. I don’t want to jinx it…but alas, I fear I already have. Bollocks. Of course…I also said the same thing when I woke up (crawled out of the sick ooze) this morning…and look how today turned out. 4:07 am and I’m a raving pneumonia (absolutely no way I would have been able to spell that without spellchecker) case hopped up on my parents drug cabinet (they’re out of town and I’m watching the dog…). I’m getting those sick shivers like you get when you were drinking vodka the night before and are totally hung over and then someone mentions the word ‘vodka’ and it sends you racing back to that last vile swig you took some 6 hours ago. Only I’m thinking about cough syrup. Some guy is singing very badly on TV. Man I’m going to be a wreck tomorrow.