meow

You are ready to risk it all and ask for what you want, even if your request is a bit weird. It's best to think twice before speaking, although you will probably go ahead with your initial plan anyway. Bold behavior will clearly make your statement, so be sure you are willing to deal with the consequences of your actions.


This is my horoscope for today. I don’t live or die by what the stars say…every newspaper/web site always has a different take on how my day should/will unfold...but this horoscope in particualar has been surprisingly relevant to my life the past year or so…and todays ‘reading’ is quite timely and…well…probably spot on. My Wednesday horoscope was similar as well...explaining that I was on the cusp of a 'great escape' and that the time was at hand to act...so it really does feel like 'someone' is trying to tell me something.

So…am I ready to ‘risk it all’ and ‘ask for what I want’?

Hahahahaha…what do you think?!?

I won’t/can’t go into detail, but as great as it would be to just go for it…I can’t. Circumstances and doubt are the two key factors standing in my way…among others…and while the doubt part is a little easier to overcome (its something I’ve recently made a pact with myself to work on…and so far, I feel like I'm moving in the right direction), the circumstances of the situation prevent me from opening this can of worms on the world. Its like I’ve been sitting quietly, alone, on top of a hill overlooking a great vista for quite a while…waiting...watching the sun rise and set day after day after day on this beautiful scene…hoping for a sign that would make it alright to get up and start a new journey…but there’s way too much as stake, and way too many variables that could cause it to blow up in my face. And to be honest, the view is still pretty sweet right where I am.

Plus...I'm pretty sure I know the answer already.

Yes…I could be ‘bold’…but I’m not bold. Never have been. And I’m not sure I’m willing or able to deal with the consequences either. In my mind, there’s just too much at stake. Then again, I could be completely wrong (which seems to be happening more often than not recently) and the fallout will be quick and painless…like a bullet to the head. No pain…just truth. But I’ve never been a fan of putting a gun to my head or anyone elses for that matter…and that’s what this would probably do…and seeing as how my life is as topsy turvey as its been in…well…forever…I probably wouldn’t even be in a possition to respond the right way if things fell my way. My life is just too fucked up right now...and I'm trying to be more rational about my desires...and this screams 'irrational'!

So…chalk this one up as another ‘shoulda, coulda, woulda’…another regret I can carry with me into my 30’s and beyond.

But I thank the stars for trying to push me…



Cowardly Lion: All right, I'll go in there for Dorothy. Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch, guards or no guards, I'll tear them apart. I may not come out alive, but I'm going in there. There's only one thing I want you fellows to do.
Tin Woodsman, Scarecrow: What's that?
Cowardly Lion: Talk me out of it.