dumb fuck look

One thing I love about my job is getting to see the varying levels of stupidity that make up our social fabric. Actually, I don’t love it…but sometimes you’ve got to laugh to stop from going insane. But there are a lot of stupid, brain dead people walking our streets and driving on our roads…a lot. Even if the number is 10% of society that is stupid (which is probably about 20% lower than it should be), that’s a lot of fucking people who are either stupid or masters of the 'dfl'. But amazingly, many of these people, despite the significant disadvantage they’re at, are able to hold down careers, and juggle family and personal responsibilities despite the fact that there’s a cold lump of clay where their brain should be. Clearly I’m doing this life thing wrong.


one born every minute...

My favourite attribute of the intelligence impaired is what I like to call the ‘dumb fuck look’. That’s the look a stupid person, or someone trying to pretend to be stupid will flash you whenever a) they are in trouble for some reason b) are having something explained to them that is just a little outside of their realm of expertise OR they just don’t want to listen c) are on something or d) they’re just really, really stupid. These people will just stand there while a glazed look takes over their face in an almost ‘awe shucks’/baby Huey kind of way anytime you even attempt to communicate with them if they aren’t 100% prepared…which is almost all the time. Trying to talk to one of these people with a ‘dfl’ is an exercise in futility because it’s the idiot’s built-in defense mechanism…and probably the only real mental weapon in their arsenal. At the first hint that trouble is on the horizon, or if any ‘rules’ or ‘stipulations’ are being explained to them (for their own good), they’ll automatically shift into dumb fuck mode, and tune out. Sure…they nod and respond with grunts and the occasional yes/no…putting on the airs of someone who is listening…but don’t be fooled…they haven’t heard a damn word you said. The reason? By not listening they can plead ignorance, stupidity or whatever when faced with the consequences of not following the guidelines previously outlined for them…which WILL happen.



"Duhhh…nobody told me about that?!?!?"

“Duhhhh…what!?!?”

“Huh? I thought it was free?"

And its not bad enough that these people constantly get off easy when people with brains get fed up trying to break through the haze of dumbness and just give in…they also have the nerve to call said rules and guidelines ‘stupid’…but only after they’ve broken them…not because said rules are actually stupid…but because these people desperately want to deflect attention away from their own stupidity once they realize they've been busted.

I guess today was just one of those days…cause I must have come face to face with out a half dozen dumb fuck looks tonight…just ridiculous people who, when faced with a ‘problem’ of their own doing, shift into deer-in-headlights mode and just stand there with a big dopey look on their face. It gets to the point for me that I just invariably start talking to them like a child…you know, really slowly and clearly…or I just get fed up and tell them just how stupid they’re being…in a roundabout way of course…but they figure it out and end up leaving with a chip on their shoulder because they know what I’m trying to tell them…cause nobody is THAT stupid!

Honestly, I don’t have a problem with stupid people, so long as they try. If I see you’re trying, but are just a little dim…or a little out of your element…or just having a bad day...I have no problem trying to help you or giving you a little leyway…but if you’re just being stupid because its easier…and your just a lazy fuck who wants everyone else to do everything for you…including cleaning up your messes…I’ll call you on it…cause its people like you who throw shit out your car window instead of waiting to find a trash bin, take 10 minutes to place an order at the McDonalds drive through and then fumble for money when its time to pay, and line up in the ’10 items or less’ isle with 13 items and then attempt to apologize when the cashier notices...and make life that little bit more frustrating for the rest of us…and I’m not even really that smart…so imagine what the really smart people have to put up with.

Then again…most of them have good jobs and money…so they’re able to avoid the rest of us…leaving us poor, kind-of-smart-but-not-really-that-smart people to try and hack it with all these dumb fucks!


look...this one's got a microphone...