blue sky

I've got to pull it together.  I've got it in me to do this.  Forget the bullshit, put on the blinders and just do what works.

I'm close. 

But I've been close before.  I've said all of this before.  And meant it. 

Is wisdom simply the gravity of age slowly hitting us?  I don't feel like I'm any smarter than I was...I just feel like life has beaten me into submission and now my standards are lower.  Fuck the top shelf, its too far anyway!

This is me today, right now.  Tomorrow, I've got to drag myself into work, after staying up way too late tonight feeling guilty and scared about what I've not been able to do the past, oh, 4 months.  2012 is turning into every other year.  It wasn't supposed to be.

There's still time to turn this all around.