open letter

Dear me,

So how are you holding up?  Heard about the unpleasantness and other assorted atrocities and thought I'd just check in.  So you finally got the confirmation that you'd been dreading, huh?  Finally had the official stamp put on your passport?  Honestly, you knew it was going to happen.  You hung on way too long, you know that, and there were probably a couple of cracks in the window you didn't climb through...but in the end, this is the way it was always going to go down.  

If I were you, I'd just bury yourself in work and other activities...maybe now you can start working out...join a gym or something?  What about all those books you keep saying your going to get to?  Not to mention that 'story' you've been working on for the last decade.  Maybe it's time you actually took some time to get that down on virtual paper?  Point is, this isn't the end of the world.  I know you loved this girl...and have for a long time...but she's kept you at arms length this long for a reason.  She's just not into you that way.  I'm sure you wouldn't let yourself get mixed up with a manipulative girl who just uses you and draws you in when it suits her, only to push you away when you get the 'wrong' idea.  I really don't think she's that type.  But the longer you keep punishing yourself by thinking about what could have been, or what should have been, the longer you'll be unhappy and stuck.  You need to move on bro.

As far as work goes, what's happening with that idea for a store you had?  Did the bank loan or grant come through?  You still working with those two dudes?  How's that going?  If you're still earning minimum wage after two years maybe you ought to think about speaking up?  You're 34 dude, you can't live off $10.25 the rest of your life.

Anyway, pick your sorry ass up off the mat, and get busy being the man you want to be.  You don't need a girl on your arm (or in your bed) to start crossing off some of those long term goals you've always had for yourself.  Trust me, put all this shit behind you, focus on what you enjoy doing and what makes you happy and you'll forget about all this nonsense in no time.  Just remember that it can't all be about work.  I know you, you'll push too hard and burn yourself out in quick time if you don't take a day here or there to recharge.  If you need to cut back at the store, do it.  Speak up.  You know damn well that they'll just keep feeding you through the meat grinder if you don't stand up for yourself.  You're a valuable commodity...a work horse...and they'll ride you till you fall over if you're not careful.  Hopefully things at the new gig are going well.  Did I hear you got promoted already?  If so, maybe that will make it easier to shift your focus...and better illuminate where your future bread will be buttered?

Chin up Bucko,

You

PS:  How are the folks doing?