second hand

What a week.  No rest for the wicked.  One job to the next.  All while trying to keep my mind off my troubles.  But my mind never really does what I want it to do.  It flashes images in front of my eyeballs...memories...imagined or real...and then it's off to the races.  Down the rabbit hole.

Some days I'm hopeful.  Some days it actually does feel as if I could manage if this was it.  Put this here, that there, and set the alarm clock to go off each day and I could fall into routine.  Eat, sleep, work.

Then there are the other days where I stare blankly in the mirror desperately asking what's the point?

I have no idea where I'm going.  No idea what the future holds.  No clue as to the path I want to, or should take.  Nothing but questions and doubts.  It feels like I'm just wasting time.