I'm coming back...
It may take a little more time...but I'll be back. Even if it means leaving some things unsaid, I guess thats the price you pay for opening yourself up. I can't say it wasn't the best feeling I've had in years...becasue it was...but it was never real. I know that now. It was real to me...but that doesn't make it real. It takes two people to recognize something for it to be real...and no matter what I said, what I felt, or what I saw, I just couldn't get through. Even now...it remains in the dark...a neon elephant invisible to the one set of eyes I wanted to see it.
But you know what they say about the elephant in the room...everyone can see it, they just pretend not to. They all have reasons...some may have their own best interests in mind...some may have your best interests in mind...and some, some just don't want to face the unknown...but that doesn't stop the elephant from causing damage. That doesn't stop it from trampling the room.
Someday...someday I'll understand...but by then I doubt I'll have the energy or hope to find my missing future. No...I lost that a long time ago...
I just cannot for the life of me understand how I can be so wrong about the things that I feel? Am I that twisted up inside? Am I that far removed from reality? Am I that unlucky?
"If you're respectful by habit, constantly honoring the worthy, four things will increase: long life, beauty, happiness, strength." ~ Buddha
(yeah...for them...)
But you know what they say about the elephant in the room...everyone can see it, they just pretend not to. They all have reasons...some may have their own best interests in mind...some may have your best interests in mind...and some, some just don't want to face the unknown...but that doesn't stop the elephant from causing damage. That doesn't stop it from trampling the room.
Someday...someday I'll understand...but by then I doubt I'll have the energy or hope to find my missing future. No...I lost that a long time ago...
I just cannot for the life of me understand how I can be so wrong about the things that I feel? Am I that twisted up inside? Am I that far removed from reality? Am I that unlucky?
"If you're respectful by habit, constantly honoring the worthy, four things will increase: long life, beauty, happiness, strength." ~ Buddha
(yeah...for them...)
posted by neil at 7:37 PM
3 Comments:
buddha also said "all that we are is a result of what we have thought. the mind is everything. what we think; we become."
sometimes i just want to throw my 18 pesos in.
touché...thanks matt. Always helps to have another perspective (especially when ones own is clouded by so many troubles)
Thanks again, and I welcome and value all currencies...anytime.
I know all about the clouds...and fortunately it is easier to write enlightening things to people. These elevator rides are enough to make anyone sweat...but words can make one hell of a difference. And knowing that someone else out there is going through the same things sometimes makes it easier, and sometimes, a lil bit better.
Some people tread water, some do the backstroke...I can't swim, but sometimes looking into the vast blue makes me think that I should probably, at the very least, be in the water.
and sometimes i ramble and try to make myself sound smart.
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