this bird's for you

You know what really bugs me? People who take up 2 spots when they park their car. Especially when its where you live and there are only so many spots. Recently, the building that I live in added a new tenant…and he drives a big 4 X 4…we’re talking GMC Yukon size…its almost a Hummer…and every time this guy parks his tank, he takes up 2 spots. Once or twice I can understand…it’s a big truck…but we’re talking 8 times out of 10. The guy has absolutely no regard for the other people who live in the building. I guess he just feels that he and his beast of a truck entitled or something? I mean, by the way his tires are turned to the side, its obvious that he just whips his ride into the spot and hops out…never checking to see if he’s over the line.

Unfortunately, this rogue idiot seems to have infected the rest of my building with this disorder, because when I arrived home at midnight on Friday night, there were not one, not two, but three cars taking up 2 spots each…thus sucking up all the available spots. So I had to park on the street, and keep watch for over an hour before a spot opened up. Imagine coming home, and you can’t even park in your own driveway? There's just something not right about that.

Now, I understand that from time to time spots are tight and you have to ‘straddle’ the yellow line in order to park your car…but when it’s a brazen disregard for the laws of parking, then I get upset. I was literally fuming on Friday. I wrote out a couple of really nasty notes…paced back and forth for about 20 minutes trying to calm myself down while debating whether or not I should stick them to the windshield…only to chicken out (or come to my senses…I’m not sure which it was…) and keep it to myself. Granted, there’s nothing worse than having a tense relationship with your neighbors…which is ultimately why I decided against the notes…but sometimes the rudeness just goes too far. And this is on top of all the dog owners who refuse to pick up their pets shit and leave it lying around all over the lot. Real classy.

So please, if you’ve been guilty of haphazardly taking up multiple spots when you park your car…or you don't pick up your dogs shit...or if your one of those people who feels that they are special enough to pull up to the curb next to the bank/convenience store/Blockbuster, switch the hazards on so that you can ‘quickly’ pop in and get what you need….thus blocking the way for every other Jack and Jill trying to get by…my young friend here has something for you...