play it again...

My computer is a piece of crap. Every time I turn it on, its like I’ve got to walk away and occupy myself for 10 minutes before coming back to it just as it stops chugging away like its running on diesel or something. It’s a real pain in the ass. Then again, I did get it for cheap because it didn’t work when I bought it…so I should just be glad I can turn it on at all I suppose…

Frankly, I just wanted to post something to bump that last post…I’m still shaking my head about it. I’m actually a little bothered that I’ve turned this into something about me again…I hadn’t seen him in probably 2-3 years…and by the end of high school we were just ‘pals’…so for me not to know, or to not be able to say ‘goodbye’…it really isn’t that big a deal…so I should just get over it. I’m sure the people closest to him, his real friends, are feeling a more genuine sense of loss than what I’m feeling. I feel like a real self-absorbed ass hole sometimes…you know? I know we all go through these feelings when someone we know dies…its ‘fine’ to have it make you take a look at your own life and take stock of things…but fuck, I’ve been taking stock forever. A good man is dead…his family and friends are grieving…I’ve got nothing to do with it. Would I have liked to have known? Yes. But I chose the outside…so it shouldn’t be a surprise that I was out of the loop on this one.

It was just a big one to be out of the loop on. But I guess as we all get older, there’s more where that came from…

...and now this one’s depressing too...