more hole

After lunch with a friend today, I felt as if a part of me had left with them.  I still feel like a bigger hole is now where the old hole used to be hours later.  I can't remember a time I've felt like that. 

I'm upset with myself.  I'm still not being honest with myself.  Finding ways to avoid facing the problem.  Myself.  The clock is ticking.  Oh boy is it ticking.  Maybe my hope is that all these ill feelings are tied to this 'thing' that I'm not facing, and when I finally do face it, everything will suddenly be lifted?  Maybe the fact that I know that's not the case is what's holding me back?

I don't think I've missed a person in a long time.