run
I've got to get out of here. I am as stuck in the mud as one can get. More like stuck in the shit. My own shit. Why do I keep doing this to myself? I've spent too long doing it one way, its now become impossible to change. I can't do it.
What do I do?
I just need a little more time and I'll figure it out? Right?
No.
I'm past that. Now I have to do something. Do something. Actually do something. Stop what I'm doing now...and do something else.
Anything else.
I'm about to drive off a cliff.
What do I do?
I just need a little more time and I'll figure it out? Right?
No.
I'm past that. Now I have to do something. Do something. Actually do something. Stop what I'm doing now...and do something else.
Anything else.
I'm about to drive off a cliff.
posted by neil at 1:17 PM
2 Comments:
I've been where you are. Truly.
Please find somebody to help you.
Brain chemistry can determine our emotions.
You matter to me, I have looked at you impressive writing over the last few years.
I'm sure that you are deeply important to your family.
Please find an objective ear to help you.
Many have been down your dark road and have found the path to a lighter existance just by sharing their burdens.
I believe you would be an ear for someone in the same situation. Please. let someone else give that gift to you.
I found this comforting:
Thich Nhat Hahn "The End of Suffering" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeNGGYieGTw
Please seek a doctor's help. I was helped and the world is nearly not so impossible.
Beyond that meditation that focuses on the simple act of breathing such as practiced in Vipassan meditation gives your mind deep respite.
Please consider going to a Vipassana meditation retreat. Most are within a days drives of most cities. Unlike other retreats, they are free, this includes accomodation and food. The international centres are supported by donations, of time (cooking etc) or money.
Here is info re a centre in Ontario:
http://www.torana.dhamma.org/about.html
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