Oh Clock...
Sometimes I think that I'm living on a different planet. That I'm alone in this parallel universe that somehow combines the 'real' world with 'my' world simultaneously. You remember those diagrams in math class…or science class…I can't remember, I struggled in both…where the teacher would draw two intersecting circles on the blackboard…resulting in 3 'areas'. You had the part of each circle that was independent of the other, and then the middle part, usually shaded in white chalk. Sometimes I feel like I'm living my life in the circle on the right, and sometimes I feel like I'm living my life in the circle on the left…but I always have one foot in the shaded part in the middle.
The middle is who I really am.
My job requires me to work at all hours of the day. Sometimes I work 9-5…other times I might work from 6-3 am. They do their best to keep me on a somewhat consistent schedule…but the fact remains that it wreaks havoc on my sleeping patters and the quality of my R.E.M.'s. Just yesterday, I was saying how good I was feeling…this despite a heavy workweek…but today, the zombie eyes hit me like a ton of bricks…and by early afternoon I was moving like I was stuck in a suit of molasses.
I've been able to shake that sinking feeling in the hours since I returned home. A pasta supper and a little entertainment ('The Departed' is a very good film btw) has returned me to my regularly scheduled program, but I still feel 'weird'. Like something's not quite right. Of course, it could be anything…my laundry list is separated into chapters…but the fact that I've been feeling 'on course' and 'optimistic' the past few days has me confused. Nothing has changed…the only thing really separating yesterday and today was a 6 hour bout of shut eye…that's it.
Time does weird shit to you. One minute your feeling great, smiling, wrapped in a warm, comfortable glow…the next, you feel exposed to the elements, confused at finding yourself out in the cold with no jacket on.
"How did I get here?"
Like I said…I'm fine…I'm sure a good nights rest, and a day off tomorrow will go a long way towards curing what ails me at this particular moment…but its also a reminder that when the going is good, there is sure to be a shitty forecast on the way…the key is to remember that when the going is rough…if you can just get through it, there's always a little sun just around the corner.
Then again, now that I think of it, I didn't have breakfast this morning…so maybe that's what did it?
The middle is who I really am.
My job requires me to work at all hours of the day. Sometimes I work 9-5…other times I might work from 6-3 am. They do their best to keep me on a somewhat consistent schedule…but the fact remains that it wreaks havoc on my sleeping patters and the quality of my R.E.M.'s. Just yesterday, I was saying how good I was feeling…this despite a heavy workweek…but today, the zombie eyes hit me like a ton of bricks…and by early afternoon I was moving like I was stuck in a suit of molasses.
I've been able to shake that sinking feeling in the hours since I returned home. A pasta supper and a little entertainment ('The Departed' is a very good film btw) has returned me to my regularly scheduled program, but I still feel 'weird'. Like something's not quite right. Of course, it could be anything…my laundry list is separated into chapters…but the fact that I've been feeling 'on course' and 'optimistic' the past few days has me confused. Nothing has changed…the only thing really separating yesterday and today was a 6 hour bout of shut eye…that's it.
Time does weird shit to you. One minute your feeling great, smiling, wrapped in a warm, comfortable glow…the next, you feel exposed to the elements, confused at finding yourself out in the cold with no jacket on.
"How did I get here?"
Like I said…I'm fine…I'm sure a good nights rest, and a day off tomorrow will go a long way towards curing what ails me at this particular moment…but its also a reminder that when the going is good, there is sure to be a shitty forecast on the way…the key is to remember that when the going is rough…if you can just get through it, there's always a little sun just around the corner.
Then again, now that I think of it, I didn't have breakfast this morning…so maybe that's what did it?
posted by neil at 2:59 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home