Philip Seymour Hoffman

I'm a movie fan.  In fact, if I'm being honest, I'd consider myself a film snob.  I can sit down and enjoy a film as a piece of entertainment...but more often than not I like to dissect, and view films with a critical hat on, looking for those pieces of magic that take a good film, or a great film, and turn it into a piece of art.  Over the years, I've come to respect, admire and follow the careers of certain individuals who seem to continually show a mastery of craft.  Certain directors, cinematographers and actors are just that much better than the rest.  Philip Seymour Hoffman was one of those actors.

He may not have been my favourite actor, but he was up there.  A talent, who as soon as you saw that he was in a movie, instantly made that movie a curiosity and something you wanted to see.  His filmography is just full of amazing films and amazing performances.  The fact that there won't be any more is terribly sad, and more than a little depressing to this consumer of films.  They just won't taste the same without him.

The fact that he went out with a needle in his arm, hunched over in his bathroom, is also more than a little depressing.  Essentially he killed himself.  As someone who battled addiction, and won for as long as he did, he must have known that he was going to die sooner rather than later now that he was using again.  Did he want to die?  Probably not...but you never know what dark clouds could have been floating inside of him.  But dancing with the white devil is essentially dancing with death...and a brilliant, talented man like Mr. Hoffman would have known, or understood that there is only losing with heroin.  For it to have devoured him so quickly after falling off the wagon...and in such a pathetic manner, is just heartbreaking.

All I wish now is that the man found peace, and understood before he passed away just how awesome a talent he was, and how much joy, pleasure and amazement he delivered with his many fine performances.  Capote, The Master, Boogie Nights, Synecdoche, New York, Owning Mahoney...it's almost disrespectful to just choose a handful, but these films were some of my absolute favourite films...and performances that just ooze talent and nuance and brilliance.  He had a way of taking any part, great or small, and turning it into something essential.  He stole scenes, and sometimes entire films.  He owned others.

At 34, I've seen my fair share of talented people die too young.  I've felt the loss and shaken my head in frustration that death can end ones existence like that and everything that that life brings with it.  I'm used to it now, but Philip Seymour Hoffman dying from a heroin OD at age 46 has left me in a state of profound numbness...like I feel terrible, but my heart is so tired of processing this kind of loss that it just doesn't even want to fully acknowledge it.  I'll get over it, like I have many times before...but it really does feel as if the world is a little bit worse with him no longer in it.

Rest in Peace good man.