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I made some mistakes tonight.  Nothing major, just a couple of little things.  It's kind of bugging me.  I'm a bit of a perfectionist.  I say a bit of one because if I was a perfectionist, I'd be very, very upset with myself.  Fifteen year hate more like it.  

I want to always try, but sometimes it really hurts.

I can honestly say that I don't care about things that I used to care about.  Some of my most intense passions and pastimes are now just things I glance at in passing.  Emotionally, I'm just not as invested, and I can't fake it.  Part of me is thinking that this is just a natural extension of growing up and growing older.  The innocence and curiousness of childhood and adolecence...and young adulthood...is being replaced by a knowing wisdom...and growing malaise.  I've probably talked about this before years ago, but I was told to stop dreaming a while back...a good 8-10 years...and it shocked me at the time, but really, it was sound advice.  Maybe not altogether, but eliminating the kind of reckless dreaming that I've been guilty of over the past decade sooner can only help some other poor schmuck who can't seem to get out of his own way before its too late.

"I am what I am.  Most motherfuckers don't give a damn."

There's still a part of me still fighting for her.  Tough S.O.B. just doesn't know when to give up.  It's only a matter of time now.

All things considered, I do alright, but I need to find more energy somewhere.  Better diet, better sleep, more exercise...I got to do it.  I still feel pretty healthy, but I'd be pretty stupid if I didn't at least start taking aging a bit more seriously now that I'm getting there.

Nothing to watch.  Not into anything right now.  I guess I could watch 'American Hustle'?

It's best not to look too far down the line...cause it's a scary sight.  I've had a couple of flashes and I didn't really like what I saw.  Nightmares is how I would describe them.  I guess I'm destined to take it one day at a time.

At this point, I think I'd be able to handle moving out into the woods and never speaking to another human being again.

I thought a woman was outside groaning in agony last night.  It was just a cat in heat.  Horrible sounds.

Took a chance for $40 today.  I'll let you know if it pays off.

It's amazing to me how divided I am between wanting everyone to like me, and not wanting to have to talk to anyone at all, ever.  Maybe I resent myself for putting myself in positions I don't want to be in because I want to make friends?  Really?

Batman is the best.

Is there any way to unplug?