decoy

Why does it feel like I'm being toyed with?  Like I'm actually nothing more than a toy to somebody.  It can't be true.  It just can't be.  Unconsciously?  Maybe.  But I really doubt it.  So why did everything that happened today feel like a big sham?  Like I was on TV and everything was a setup?  I honestly can't believe I'm thinking this.  I've had inklings in the past, but attributed that to self pity and petty feelings.  Bruised ego a little.  But after playing back everything that happened today...and, really, everything that's led up to today...I just have to scratch my head and ask 'what the fuck?'

Seriously.  What the fuck?