black box

I've lived without cable TV for over 5 years.  When I first moved into this apartment, I made the decision that I didn't want to pay for something that I really wasn't enjoying. For a long time, my DVD collection, the first 7 seasons of The Simpsons, and my job at the local video store meant I barely missed TV.  But going on 5 years, and no longer working at the video store, I'm starting to miss the mindless joy of watching random TV.  I think, for me, I was more frustrated with the fact that I couldn't seem to avoid watching the news, which, combined with shite TV and too many ads, made it something I kind of needed to cut out of my life for a bit.  But recently, I've been really restless at home, and I know the ability to just turn on the TV, be it on a day off, or late at night when I can't sleep, might help.  To me, it kind of feels like an admission that I'm lonely.  It might be a little of that, but I think I just want something to 'change' and getting cable seems like a harmless attempt to mix up my current routine.  These days, I'm pacing a lot, and staring at the same 9 websites over and over when I'm not working.  I hate one of my jobs, and don't feel very useful at the other.  I'm beyond broke.  I'm miserable.  I just want to watch some TV so as not to have to think about any of it.