False Start

by Jasper Johns (1959)

Redbelt

"My father made money, my brothers make money, and you are somehow too pure. You're too pure to compete."

****

Film noir meets the world of mixed martial arts in this David Mamet written & directed movie. I love me a good film noir, so this one seemed right up my alley…and it didn’t disappoint at all. I really got into this film. The movie centers on a jujitsu instructor, played by the incredibly talented Chiwetel Ejiofor (Talk to Me, Kinky Boots, American Gangster), his failing martial arts studio…and a chain of events that is set off when a troubled woman comes in one night from the rain looking for help. It’s a film about one mans struggle to remain ‘pure’ despite a world around him that seems to turn on an impure axis…and how sometimes one has to step outside of oneself…or, in other words, do what seems like the ‘wrong’ thing at the time…in order to do the right thing in the end.

Great dialogue, interesting three dimensional characters, cool (but so-so) plot and top notch acting from many of the players (not including the real MMA fighters (but they weren't terrible either) or Ricky Jay’s delivered-by-cue-card performance of a shady promoter) make this one a nice little nugget of a movie. And for fans of MMA, I’m a ‘mild’ fan myself, the fight sequences, of which there are about 4 or 5, are all done very well, and add to the ‘edge of your seat’ element that goes hand in hand with film noir. Instead of Bogey beating up some tough in an alley…we’ve got two dudes clutching and grabbing inside an arena…but it works.

It may not be classic film noir…but as a modern hybrid, it was very compelling…and it was nice to watch an entertaining, well written film who’s twists and plot devices reveled themselves naturally, sometimes in the shadows, rather than be presented on a silver platter (complete with sappy soundtrack!) like many films do.

I hesitate to call 'Redbelt' a great film, because its not...but it gets **** because for me, it hit the right buttons and left me with a smile on my face.

Cool flick!

life's a drag

photo by: not me

little dude

photo by: not me

acid rain

I'm happy for the people of China. I think getting the Olympic Games meant a lot to them, and, in the long run, was probably a good call by 'the powers that be'. I haven't watched a lick of any of it myself (save a YouTube clip of the 100M final...) but most people are watching, and seem to be getting a real kick out of it like they always do when these things (Summer and Winter) come along. That's cool.

But these sorts of things always have an ugly side...only in China's case, its more like a few ugly sides. Here's just one of the 'minor' ones...







I know...I know...these could be anytown USA 20-30-50-80 years ago. Sure...but China's got over 1 billion people...that's nearly 3 times what the US and Canada had when we were 'growing' nations. The Chinese are playing catch up...trying to cram 100 years of western evolution into 10...5?



all photo's by Teun Voeten (laweekly.com)

Waking Life (2001)

"Dream is Destiny."


***

What a difference a second viewing makes. After hearing about ‘Waking Life’ when it initially came out, I was very interested to check it out. It just seemed like something that would appeal to both the intellectual in me as well as the film-lover. However, I never did get around to watching it until after I had seen ‘A Scanner Darkly’, Richard Linklater’s ‘other’ film where he used the technique of ‘painting’ over every frame to give the movie a sort of dreamlike/cartoon feel, while still capturing real actors motions and mannerisms on the screen. ‘A Scanner Darkly’ remains one of my all time favourite films, one that seems to reveal something upon each repeated viewing. ‘Waking Life’ however, did not go over well the first time through. After watching it, I felt tired and ‘talked at’, I didn’t find myself ‘interested’ in anything the characters had to say…I just wasn’t ‘feeling it’.

However, that take never really sat well with me. I’ve been a fan of most of Linklater’s stuff, but more than anything I find that he is a director who likes to explore the boundries of his art, which is something I’ve always been a fan and admirer of. Kubrick, Jarmusch, Aronofsky…there are many, but those 3 spring to mind…all these directors are attempting to merge the values of cinema and art and individuality and thought and perception together…in a medium that is often only concerned with profit and celebrity. So I wanted to give Linklater and ‘Waking Life’ another chance.

And I’m glad I did.

Maybe it had something to do with where I’m at now versus where I was the first time, but this time I felt like I was ready to take in the film…and everything it had to offer. The story is simple. Its about a guy and his dreams…and him finding himself in a constant state of sleep-waking where his dreams are interrupted by him waking up…into more dreams. He’s confronted with seemingly random people who offer him their ideas about life, philosophy, existence…it all very complicated and very ‘wordy’. Because of the ‘dream’ state he’s in, he/you seemingly float in and out of these encounters almost at random…so if your not following along within the first 5 minutes, you might as well turn it off, cause its one of those films where you’ve got to ‘sink’ into it and really open your ears and mind to what’s being said. The animation helps sometimes…but there are some pretty wild theories full of intellectual jargon and terminology that, if your not really tuned in, will just start to sound like a bunch of ‘big words’ really quick…which is probably what happened to me the first time I tried to watch it.

I don’t know…for what its worth…this time, the movie made sense…a lot of sense…and came at just the right time in my life…at just the right moment. But what it all means?

Actually...that's where it gets really interesting...

"No matter how empty the world seemed, no matter how degraded and used up the world appeared to us, we knew that anything was still possible, and, given the right circumstances, a new world was just as likely as an old one."

smile (again)

broken down

I can’t do this anymore.
I’m fooling myself if I think I’m still trying.
Really trying.
I gave up a long time ago…its just taken the rest of me a while to catch up.
Why am I still trying to see what isn’t there?
Every time I think I see something…or feel something...and try to grab onto it…it turns out to be nothing.
What I want I can't feel.
What I want I can't see.
So is it really there?
All that I see now is other people.
Like ghosts.
I feel like I’m literally going to snap like a thousand cables and break like a million panes of glass.
I can’t sleep cause I’m afraid.
Because part of me doesn't want to face another tomorrow.
Because my dreams haunt me.
They keep me up at night.
Distract me all day.
They won't die.
They won't go away.
Tomorrow offers no break…no new day.
Just more of this…whatever this is.
More mistakes.
More frustration.
More fuel for the ever growing fire.
All I want now…if I really want anything at all…is for this chapter to be over.
To turn the page.
But it just won’t end.
Because there’s still tomorrow.
Always tomorrow.
And tomorrow I’ll wake up and try to forget I ever typed these words.
Or thought these thoughts.
I’ll pretend like I was out of my mind…and that I’ve still got a chance.
That with a little hard work, and a few lucky breaks, things might just turn around.
That others have it so much worse than me.
That I shouldn’t feel so goddamn sorry for myself.
That life is worth it.
That love is worth it.
That hope is actually real and something and not the nothing I sometimes see it as.
That I really am sorry for this mess that I've made.
That I want to clean it up.
In other words…I’ll just keep on lying to myself like I always do.
Because that’s all I can do anymore.
Because its my only chance.

fuck it

I just don’t get it. What the fuck is it going to take to make people sit up and take notice of the irreparable damage that President George W. Bush and his corrupt band of cronies has done in their 8 years in office? From spying on civilians in the guise of ‘National Security’ to starting a totally bogus war in Iraq (which has cost his country billions of dollars and thousands of lives…not to mention the tens of thousands of Iraqi’s who’ve lost their lives…) to the Hurricane Katrina fiasco…to the sub prime mortgage crisis…to a crashing economy where the only people getting rich are the rich…the list goes on and on and on and on and on…and I’m sure its only the tip of the iceberg.

And now this…{Bush could weaken Endangered Species Act}

How dose he sleep at night? Is nothing sacred? Oh wait...unborn fetus' are sacred...but that's about it! How can he actually believe that the decisions he’s making are actually going to help his country and/or the world? All he cares about is money. Oil money. Developers’ money. Money for the military. And yet…all this catering to big business has left his country where? Mired in record debt, on the verge of crippling economic depression…divided…tired…confused…why won’t anyone step up and call him out? Is it because its unpatriotic to criticize the President? Is it illegal to hold up his own record of failure and demand he answer for it?

I read articles like this and it makes me angry…but more than that…it makes me very sad. Climate change is happening. Wildlife is disappearing. Natural resources are being gobbled up at a dizzying pace…and soon, we human beings will be left with nothing but concrete and bad air. But a few developers have to wait a few extra weeks and spend a few thousand extra dollars...and the President decides to step in a 'make it right?'

Come ON!

So it costs a developer a little more money to build yet another housing development? So what? Last time I checked…there were thousands of vacant, abandoned homes ready to be bought thanks to good people being forced to declare bankruptcy cause the ‘American Dream’ turned into a nightmare. Why do we need MORE houses? Roads and infrastructure is crumbling at an alarming rate…so why do we need MORE roads? Fix the ones you’ve already got for Christ’s sake! The country is pouring billions upon billions of dollars into Iraq…and for what? Seriously…why? ‘To protect our interests in the region’ they say.

‘So we can have all the oil’ is what they mean!

I really wish I had the strength and conviction that some of the environmentalists and people fighting this criminal (and that’s what he is…the truth will come out!) in the White House have…but alas, it all just looks too damn hopeless at this point. From war crimes, to crimes against humanity...to crimes against nature...I doubt someone trying to destroy the world on purpose could do as much damage as he's done...because he does it with a smile on his face, under the guise of 'freedom'. He's like the pied piper of chaos...with a legion of lemmings at his heels.

But then I think that maybe he knows that its all going tits up in a decade or two…maybe he's seen the documents and the 'classified' information...and knows that there's no hope...so he’s just trying to help out the guys with the most money to keep the sinking ship afloat for a few more years…or at least long enough for he and his buddies to enjoy their retirement years in their palatial mansions in Texas before they choke on all the hot, bad air!

I don’t pretend to know all there is to know about politics…especially the fucked up American variety…but I can’t understand how the American people…the ones the Constitution was written for…and who are ultimately responsible for what their government does (and doesn’t do)…can let this happen…for 8 fucking years!

And now its too late to do anything about it…except vote in another ‘great new hope’ and watch him succumb to the very same greed, corruption and blind eye that has plagued the United States of America for far too long!

You had the chance to lead the world into a new era way back when…to make the tough, hard choices that would have hurt at first, but ultimately would have possibly brought with them a world of hope and life.

Instead…all we see is death, death, death!

Good job America!


Get the money...dollar dollar bills y’all!

08/08/08

Today I hate everyone…especially myself. The past week or so the pressure has been getting to me. Big time. Everyone is asking a lot of me…and I’m not dealing with it well. I'm getting shit done...but with an edge. Co-workers are telling me to ‘smile more’ (which doesn’t work!)…people are asking me why I’m going ‘so fast’ and that I should ‘slow down’…I’m not laughing at everyone’s bad jokes and lame anecdotes…I guess I’m just not having enough ‘fun’ for everyone else’s liking. Which is funny to me, cause usually nobody seems to care. And even funnier still, considering some of the complaining and moaning I hear on a daily basis.

I tell them I'm just working hard...

But the person I’ve been the past few days…its not me...and I know it. Something is wrong. Its not good enough to be thought of as the jerk, even if I'm really not being a jerk, cause I know I’m better than that. Treat others how you want to be treated. That’s how I try to live my life...I'm not perfect, but I don't have to be...just good. My frustrations with my life or situation shouldn’t come out as venom directed at others…even if they happen to be the very cause of my frustrations. I've been spared once or twice when I could have easily been stomped...so its only fair I return that goodwill.

But something is crawling under my skin…scraping up against bone…and has me all bent out of shape. Just when things looked as if they were breaking my way…I find myself angry…and hungry…and tired…mentally and physically. I’m so pent up I want to punch a hole in the wall…I want rip my TV from the wall and break it just to…I don’t know why? At one point tonight I wanted to scream at the sky…but I couldn’t even summon the strength to draw in that big a breath. I just sat there on the curb…too tired to shake even though I was shaking on the inside.

Why? I don’t know. Its just one of those days I guess. Maybe '8' just isn’t my number?

Or maybe it's all those 0's...

Pineapple Express

"Thug life!"


****

Went with my brother this afternoon (we both had the day off) to see Pineapple Express, the Seth Rogan/Judd Apatow stoner-action flick that looked so good in the trailers...and ended up being even better than I thought.

Just a really cool, smart, dumb movie about a dude who smokes weed, his super-chill dealer, and the trouble that they find themselves in when Rogan (the dude who smokes) witnesses a murder while smoking a joint in his car and the two have to run for their lives. Great mix of astute stoner comedy (Rogan admits his days as a B.C. pothead influenced this script he co-wrote) and wild action/chase/fight scenes right out of your average Hollywood action flick. And like 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up and Superbad, the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) theme of friendship keeps this movie 'grounded' in a way I can't quite describe. You feel like you're watching 'real' people in Pineapple Express...sure, they're doing some pretty wild/dumb shit...but its like the Hollywood sheen has been rubbed away from the characters. Rogan, as he was in Knocked Up, is very good as the loveable schlub 'hero', and James Franco is just classic as his dealer/new BFFF...and the supporting cast is great too...from Red the middle man, to the two hitmen looking for them. My brother and I found ourselves replaying scene after scene in the car ride back...just great lines or bits of comedy/action that leave you smiling.

I went in with fairly 'high' expectations for this movie...and had them plesently surpassed. I can't wait to see it again.

one more year

Dear Mats,

First off, let me say that, as a lifetime fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs, I think it was truly despicable what went down in the month or so leading up to the Trade Deadline last year. The media was relentless (as they usually are) in pointing out every reason under the sun why you should have waived your no-trade clause so that we could ‘start the re-building process’ early by getting a couple of prospects for you. They said we didn’t need you around anymore cause we were going to ‘start over’ and there didn’t seem to be a point in keeping a 37 year old superstar who’s been our Captain for the past 10 years and who’s been the face of the franchise since number 93 left…the classy, poised, well spoken leader…the guy who leads our team in scoring ever year…the guy who put up with some old coot coming back as the ‘interim’ GM and attempting to embarrass him into accepting a trade to some other team that you said you didn’t want to play for.

Well...as you probably know, hockey writers don’t know JACK about anything…they just make shit up to stir the pot…and when one guy starts yapping off at the mouth on the radio, all those hack writers’ ears perk up and they just start running with it…even if it has nothing to do with anything.

You told everyone who would listen that you couldn’t see yourself in another uniform…even if it meant saying so long to your dream of winning the Stanley Cup. You didn't want to go anywhere. That should have been the end of it. I mean…you were being loyal...but that was a bad thing? Unwavering loyalty to ones team...no matter what...is bad? I still don't understand the logic behind that.

In an era where its all about money…where players demand to be traded 1 year into a 6 year contract because they feel like their team isn’t a ‘contender’….where guys end up playing for 4…5…6 teams in their career…where guys signed to $100 million contracts blow it on drugs, hookers and starting up illegal dog fighting rings…I've been proud of the way you've led our team...and was proud of the way you stood up and said you were a Toronto Maple Leaf till the end.

So when July 1 hit, and there was all this talk about Vancouver and Montreal and New York…I figured that, as much as I wanted to see you come back, you had ever reason to feel like Toronto didn’t want you…or didn’t need you. I really thought it was the end of Mats Sundin in Toronto.

But then you didn’t sign anywhere. And there was talk that the Leafs, despite all the bullshit that came out of the MLSE ivory tower, had tendered you a fair offer (about $7 million) to come back and lead the new look Maple Leafs into the 2008-2009 season.

So I’m here today to tell you that we need you Mats. You know as well as I do that we should have been a better team last year…but for whatever reason a few guys just didn’t play with the kind of fire needed…cough Darcy Tucker cough Kyle Welwood cough…until it was way too late…and we missed the playoffs again. And while I haven’t been all that impressed with the additions we’ve made…I’m glad they got rid of the parts that just weren’t working anymore…which is why it boggles my mind that they’d want to get rid of you.

How could it possible hurt a rebuilding club to have someone the caliber of yourself playing alongside this group? Taking some of the pressure off youngsters like Alex Steen and Matt Stajan to go out at replace your numbers (which they can’t…) or trying to get Jason Blake back to the 30-40 goal man he was 2 years ago…or just having your presence in the locker room…or seeing your smile after a goal or a win? To all the so-called experts who say that a rebuilding team doesn’t need Mats Sundin…I say ‘shut your yap!’. We need you Mats…we’re not as bad as everyone says we are. Every year, the experts make predictions that ultimately come nowhere close to being right…so to all those who say the Leafs have ZERO chance of making the playoffs…I say, you haven’t been paying attention to professional sports. Anything can (and often does) happen. Bad teams pull together, play with gusto and heart, and end up becoming good teams. Teams with bloated payrolls and superstar players can tank and end up at the bottom of the standings. If the Leafs play with the kind of fire and intensity Cliff Fletcher ‘says’ we'll be playing with this season, we’ll be ok. Will we win our division? Probably not…but then, who thought Montreal would be the #1 team in the East last year? NOBODY!!!! We’ve got enough talent (barely) and a very good goaltender to make a run at a playoff birth…and really, that’s what we should be playing for…not a lottery pick in the ’09 draft.

And if that’s the case…we’re going to need you Mats…

So take the $7 million…pull on that #13 jersey for one more year…and go out in style…like you deserve…as opposed to the shameful way the team and media (and far too many sheep…er…fans) treated you at the end of last year. Toronto is lucky to have a hockey player and human being like you as our Captain…and if you’re going to play…it has to be in blue and white.

A big fan,

Neil